For the most part, I get way extra with my make-up, clothes, shoes, etc..every day. I do it because I love it, and for no other reason. I love attacking the day in a cute outfit that is a political statement in-and-of itself. For the first time in my life, I see clothes as something other than cloths, nay- mounds of fabric- you drape on your body in an effort to not flash your genitals at other humans. I actually see why style is important now. I used to be so confused when someone would be like, “Damn. She’s so stylish.” But I get it now. It’s about so much more than “cloths that cover your genitals.” It is actually about self-expression and self-confidence. It’s what your insides look like. *eye roll*
When I was younger, style was pretty irrelevant to me. It was like a “non-thing” or a “vacuum of concern.” Usually, I just bought band tees and jeans. Outside of that, I didn’t really care about clothes. So, shopping was something I usually avoided and would bee-line for Hot Topic to get t-shirts in the size I knew would fit me. Problem solved.
I don’t do that anymore out of reverence for the new life I have chosen to lead
Dark wash jeans/black jeans, hoodies, loose band tees, and mismatched socks. END.
(I also really liked to wear my coat…all day. To ensure that, my fat wouldn’t offend anyone. Oy.)
I wear all the jeans: Ultra light wash, light wash, medium wash, dark wash, black, black acid wash, burgundy, taupe, and don’t even get me started on dress slacks. I love business casual.
Cardigans, sweaters, hoodies, body suits, dresses, sundresses, skirts, “blouses”, scarves, beanies, and anything mentioned earlier that comes in several colors? Mine.
I’ve grown to have an appreciation for style. I now notice when a man has nice, clean shoes and a stylish jacket. I begin to think, “Hmm, he cares.” Which is why I take steps for myself, to insure I feel put together. I also want to show that I care. Because, well, I do. I feel worthy of cute clothes and the ability to wear them whenever I please. I’m not going to waste that by fitting into the norm. People have outright asked me, “Why are you wearing that right now? What are you proving?” To which I reply, “I am proving that I have style and taste. I am busy expressing myself and feeling good about who I am. I am wearing that lipstick that I spent $25.66 on. I am sorry that you see my outfit as an attack to your reality. It’s okay, though. I’ll help you out if you just ask. We can start with your dad sneakers.”
(And if you want to have an opinion on what I’m wearing, you better show even the slightest signs of life in your own closet.)
Most people have no idea why I take the time, and if they did, I’m pretty sure they would understand. The same probably goes for you. Which is why taking chances with your clothes and/or make-up should be something you allow yourself to do.
“I’m too extra for this”
“Girl. You look dumb as hell right now. Everybody else is in here with their ‘dad sneakers’ on and you’re in here with ya fancy boots”
Then I remember that life isn’t about making yourself smaller so that everyone is comfortable around you. As a matter of fact, that takes the art right out of life. Life is about being you and making the space you are in better because of it. What you wear, how you do your hair, and the make-up you choose is your poetry. Now, when people want to express who they are in a space that I share with them, they’ll feel a little bit more comfortable knowing that someone else in the room gets it. They’ll be like, “She wears black lipstick too” or, “She looks weird as hell. I’m going to go be weird with her.” That’s when the right people fall in love with you and who you are.
– The Curvy Broke Girl
A Body Positive Blog