The Self-Esteem Book That Changed My Life

I have told many friends about this book and have gushed about how it changed my life. I came across the book on accident and had no idea what I was in for. Around four months ago I was surfing the web in my ex-boyfriends basement, looking for “the answer” to all of my problems. I felt crappy, ugly, and gross. I had read a ton of self-help books and didn’t have much faith that I would find the “right” one for me. Nothing had stuck before and I was sure that nothing would. I was feeling super lost, depressed, hopeless, and was looking for anything to make me feel better. I was at my rock bottom and I was searching for a ladder.

That’s when I saw the title Psycho-Cybernetics.

To be honest, the title was very unattractive to me and it came off as weird, and kind of new-agey. I thought it would try to convince me to astral project and wear dream catchers around my neck. Not that those things are bad, but I needed something tangible and quickly. Despite my initial perceptions, I decided to do a little digging into the title.

After a quick Google search, I was sold. The author, a plastic surgeon, talks about how facial reconstruction, nose jobs, boob jobs, and the like, could radically change someone’s personality or (just as easily) change little to nothing about how they perceived themselves. The surgeon was intrigued and researched to find the difference in these people.

I was hooked.

Something about the idea was attractive and relevant to me. I had toyed with the idea of getting expensive surgeries before: Nose job, boob job, cellulite treatments, porcelain veneers, laser hair removal, etc… and was so fearful that nothing would be able to change how I felt about myself. There was something inside of me that knew I would never be able to change myself enough. 

As soon as I cracked open that book, I knew that I needed the words written inside. My whole life, I had put so much effort into being more attractive, or more acceptable, and never seemed to be able to cross the finish line. There was always something else that needed to be changed or altered. I might as well have been one of the author’s patients. I could identify with the patients he talked about. The ones that didn’t see a change in their self-esteem after completely changing everything about their face. That is how unsatisfied I was in my appearance. The author gave me an alternative to changing my exterior and instead, offered a lasting, inner happiness.

I was ready to change. I began to read the book regularly and attempted to take notes as I went along. I didn’t want this to end up as one of those things that I frivolously read and forgot about. I wanted to really incorporate the ideas into my life. So, I took notes on the things that were really impactful and made sure that I highlighted the practices he wanted me to make a part of my every day.

I finished the whole book, kept all of my notes in my Evernote account, and began reading the parts that were to be read regularly, regularly. I incorporated creative visualization, positive affirmations, and made a real effort to do the things I was most scared to do. The idea is that you begin to change your paradigm. In my case, I was viewing myself through the lenses of an insecure, self-loathing, young person and I wanted to view myself as a self-confident, self-loving individual. This meant, I had to learn to operate from the self-loving paradigm. I had to be willing to change things that I  would typically ignore, do things I wouldn’t typically do, and be a person I wouldn’t typically be.

I made these suggestions part of my life. With regular, imperfect progress, I saw changes in the way I felt about myself. This book, despite my initial beliefs, actually made a huge difference in my life.

The sheer fact that it so radically changed my own experience is enough for me to recommend it to any person that seems to be “stuck” in life. Because of the progress it created in me, I have chosen to share it with others in a “book club” of sorts. I wanted to see if I could assist in cultivating tangible changes in the women around me through simple suggestion and regular meetings in which we could all keep one another accountable. These women will now have a place to come together and learn the teachings from this book, support one another, and share their experiences and strength.

Psycho-cybernetics has become a type of “Bible” for me. I now know what the suggestions in this book can do for someone. I am living proof that they work. I am nowhere near the end of my journey but I am certainly much happier, healthier, and amazing-er.

With Love,

-The Curvy Broke Girl


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