Admittedly, I have struggled with self-esteem most of my life and, well, it has gotten easier. There are small things I do that are super lazy, easy, and maybe even a little ethically questionable. But, here goes nothing: 10 ways this curvy, lazy, broke girl gets a boost of confidence when she needs it:
- I imagine to myself that I am the ideal body type. Like, in my own little universe, there are media outlets teaching women how to get a body like mine. They are celebrating my cellulite, stretch marks, “happy trail” a.k.a. haunted forest, large nose, mustache, and askew smile. It’s actually a really trippy experience in which I realize that there is no “right” body and it’s all about perspective and exposure. Give it a shot.
- I fake confidence. I had a friend tell me recently, “It’s not even that men think porn stars are hot. It’s how confident they appear to be that is so attractive.” So, I do that. I fake confidence. I once heard Kim Kardashian say “fake it till you make it.” If it works for her, it will work for me and you.
- I get real extra: Make-up, hair, clothes, shoes, etcetera, etcetera. Sometimes I don’t want to do it and sometimes I can’t wait to get ready. I once heard that you should always dress better than you feel. If you’re feeling down, get real extra and see how you feel.
- I check out one of the Body Positive groups I am a part of on Facebook. We share our deepest darkest “things” and it helps to give me that extra boost I may need in that moment.
- I have filled all of my social media feeds with fat, colored, curvy, skinny, disabled, trans, everything-in-between bodies. I am dedicated to opening my mind to a person’s character and judging an individual based on the words and actions they fill their life with. When you infuse your media feed with bodies of all types you will begin to see that your body is…..normal and valuable. Just as valuable as anyone else’s. You can have flaws and newsflash! Everyone else has them too. No one will have power over you unless you give it to them. That means, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. No body is better than yours unless you agree to it. Stop agreeing and start recognizing that each body can be sexy, loved, attractive, and most importantly appreciated.
- I’ll be the first to admit, if I go to the gym and I feel ratchet, I don’t enjoy the workout as much. This translates to: wear shit that you feel hot af in. I like to hit the gym with my nikes, my sexy yoga pants, a workout jacket around my waist to emphasize it’s slim nature while simultaneously working my wide hips and covering the thing I am most insecure about- my cellulite. I wear my Studio Wireless Beats Headphones because they are stylish and match my outfit. They’re also wireless and fucking awesome. I will not be ashamed. I wear what makes me feel good and it makes my workouts better. I avoid floppy, unflattering tank tops, large bottoms, and ugly shoes. Because I don’t feel good about myself in them. If the rules don’t work in your favor, follow new ones, or better yet, your own.
- Watch a body positive YouTube video. This is what I do when I’m feeling particularly low. It often fills me up with so many feel goods that it is just the thing for a hard day. I watched Ashley Graham’s TedTalk and then just kept watching related videos and quickly grew my “Upward Spiral” list. I suggest you do the same. I have some Jenna Marbles in there too because she is MONEY and I love her.
- I say a couple of my favorite affirmations. I do this every once in a while when I need to be reminded that I’m worthy of love and respect.
- Meditate. I have a “confidence visualization” I do to some funky psytrance and it send shivers down my spine. I visualize “God” as this woman that is only really only encapsulated in the shape of a woman. She has no features or is of any apparent ethnicity. She is only light. She glows with light and positivity. I imagine her sitting across from me and she is everything I aspire to be. She is self-assured when I am insecure and fidgety. She is still when I am troubled. She is wise when I am unsure of myself, and she is giving, and healing when I feel like taking and being selfish. She reminds me of what I strive for and it’s a fucking dope meditation to sit with.
- If I am suffering an ebb in confidence because I am feeling lonely, I listen to a podcast that I really love. They make me feel like I am joining in a conversation that I am interested in and it gives me that support I need in that moment. Some of my favorites are:
And that’s that! Most of the time, these things will give me that spike in confidence that I need to get through the hard times.
The Curvy Broke Girl
A Body Positive Blog