I’m at this interesting place in my life. I started around six month ago, making big changes to my life. In the past, when I have done this, I go so ham and change everything in my life that, around four or five months in, I start to get real tired.
This fear has been in the back of my mind. Am I going to get too tired and give up eventually? If i’m being honest, there have been a few times that I have wanted to give in but I have persevered with this knowledge in mind-
Progress not perfection
When you’re on a radical change train it is crucial that you do not overwhelm yourself and allow wiggle room to mess up. I started doing this thing where, if I got too overwhelmed with any one part of my life, I pulled back on it a bit or allowed myself to stop completely (depending on the thing) with the knowledge that a break would allow for me to come back to that thing later.
How can you incorporate this into your self-love journey?
- Take breaks- For example, I want to get better at meditation. I know that mindfulness will change every part of my life because I will enter all situations as a calmer person. Is it hard to meditate every day? No. But, it’s annoying sometimes and sometimes I get a little lazy. If I feel like I have too much on my plate and that meditation should take a back seat, I allow myself to slack on it a bit. This might sound counterintuitive to you but I do this with the knowledge that I will be, once again, actively working on a meditation practice that is consistent. If i’m beating myself up about not being perfect, the practice then becomes detrimental to my day. So, I take a break with the knowledge that I will begin, once again, in about one or two weeks.
- Do what you can- If you can’t seem to get in two or three hours of something, do 10 or 15 minutes. For me, I would like to be writing at least 1000 words/day. Is that easy? Fuck no. It is not. Often times I feel uninspired or, once again, lazy. What do I do in these moments? I allow myself to write 500-800 words. Just get something down on paper. This might seem like a waste of time but in all reality, you are living in the “progress not perfection” world in which you actively move forward no matter how small the step is. What is it in your life that you want to move forward with? Give yourself the option of taking a half step in those moments that you don’t want to do anything.
“Okay, maybe I won’t run a mile this morning but I can always take a walk around the block.”
3. The “dumping strategy”- This one sounds a little weird but bare with me. I use this strategy with the things that are really hard for me to nail down. I know that a daily affirmation practice would work for me. Do I ever want to say my affirmations? No. I don’t. I find them tedious and question the science behind them. However, with some tweaking of the affirmation process, I know I could kill some self-hate with affirmations. So, I use the “dumping” process. I make myself sit down, in front of a mirror once a week and dedicate like 10 minutes of my time. Is that going to immediately change my whole world and crush all of my self-hate. Definitely not. Is it progress? Yup. Maybe I can’t make myself do two minutes worth of affirmations every day. However, I can “dump” affirmations and get them at least once weekly.
4. Vacation- “Bitch, I thought you were broke.” Yeah I definitely am, and as a matter of fact, that makes most of my problems bigger. But when I feel like giving up everything and saying “eff all of this forever” I stop myself and allow myself a week off. Obviously, this isn’t going to work for you when you take a week off every other week. It will work for you every 8 weeks or every 10 weeks or whatever. What’s worse? Taking a week off or taking forever off? That’s what I thought.
5. Cry- A lot of the time I bottle my emotions until they flood out during a good crying session. When this happens, I make myself call somebody. That’s right. Call someone, anyone. We’re told that crying is seen as weak and to be honest, it might be. But being weak is part of being a human which means the person you’re crying to is probably going to know what it’s like to need that cry as much as you do. Allow yourself to “human” in front of other “humans.”
6. Help someone else- When you feel like giving everything you have up and offing yourself with a bottle of pills, help someone else. Talk to someone and listen to their problems. Help someone else.
Five things I do when I want to give everything up and never look back.
The Curvy Broke Girl
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